Ingredient: Love – Why I Hope to Teach Kids Confidence #parenting #boymom
“I want my kids to be so full of confidence that in their relationships, love is the only ingredient they are looking for.”
I was quick enough to jot this quote down but didn’t remember who said it or where I read it. It definitely made an impact on me.
With Valentine’s near, love is a hot topic. Where to go out to celebrate your love … gifts to give to show your love … how to express your love … all these are topics of conversation, blogs and tweets but what relationship does confidence have with love? Huh? Well, let me explain.
The statement above is true. I do want my boys to be so full of confidence that in their relationships, love is the only ingredient they are looking for – not approval, acceptance or validation.
Recently, I asked my son, “What do you want to be when you grow up?”
He said, “An astronaut.”
“You can be it!” I cheered.
“Mom, what do you want to be? … A girl astronaut? … Mom, you can be it!” he said right back. They have the best answers!
The truth is I was relieved he answered for me because I didn’t have an answer for him. And I knew if I did, he would have the same response: You can be it! It made me question “What if I live by the rules and encouragement that I give my sons?”
Well, if I don’t, they may see right through me. They may not believe that I believe in them. BUT if I allow myself the same encouragement that I give to them, I’d be an example. And maybe, just maybe, as they watch me, they would believe that if mommy can do it, so can they.
I’m not a therapist or a counselor but I think this confidence thing has a lot to do with this love thing. Kids wake up each day believing that they can and will do what they set out to achieve. Surely that builds confidence – even with the bumps in the road. There are those days when someone tells them ‘no’ or that they are crazy or the plan just didn’t work. Yet, they get up again and do it all over.
What about you? No matter what happens to the dreams you have or with the challenges you will face, do you have enough confidence in yourself to only need love as the ingredient in the relationships with the people in your life?