My Identity Crisis: Leaving Direct Sales for Something New

identity crisis  –noun

1. a period or episode of psychological distress, often occurring in adolescence but sometimes in adulthood, when a person seeks a clearer sense of self and an acceptable role in society.
2. confusion as to goals and priorities: The company is undergoing an identity crisis
I am the company and this is adulthood.
The phrase “psychological distress” sounds so intimidating to me.  My immediate response is “Oh Melanie, you are so dramatic!” So, depending on the level of intensity you receive the term “identity crisis,” you may think the same thing.
I am not the most dramatic person I know. I went through a period of searching for my purpose. I wanted to know what I was good at because earlier this year, I didn’t think I had any kind of talent.
My career was in direct sales. Direct sales is so appealing because it’s simple. Not easy but simple. Companies say: “Here is our plan. Follow it. You will have success.”  So I followed the plan with some success. But, I wasn’t happy with the results in my business. So, I attended several workshops to help me reach my goals. None worked. Not because of the educator, not because of the plan.
They didn’t work because I wasn’t convinced that this was I wanted to do. One day I was committed to being the top performer and the next day I wasn’t. Deep down, I didn’t want to be in direct sales. I just wanted the community and motivation seminars. The problem was that my whole identity was wrapped up in reaching my goals in this company. So, how could I just walk away? Who would I even be?
I’m no longer pursuing leadership in direct sales. I admit that every now and then it does cross my mind. Part of me is still over there. Everyday I pause and remind myself that I am whole and complete the way that I am. The way God created me. And then, I keep looking in my current direction.
I have found that my talents are within me, not someone else’s plan. A lot of my talents were developed in my direct sales career.  That is the good news.
Today, my identity crisis is averted.