Um, okay. As I'm cleaning up the blog drafts from 2013 to be ready for 2014, I came across this draft from May 24, 2013. I guess I was too afraid to post this then. I'm not afraid to post it now. #Bestof2013
As a freelancer, I am game for many opportunities that come my way. When they come-a-knockin' it's can be hard to say no because you never know when they will stop knocking. Over the last few weeks, I've begun to dig deep and narrow down to which opportunities I will say yes. This has made me think about my big picture.
Two events occurred that lead up to what I'm about to share with you …
1. In the middle of a ordinary conversation, I said something that I often say and usually receive a light-hearted response.
"I don't know what I want to be when I grow up," I say with a care-free giggle.
The listener responds, "That's cute." or "Good for you." or simply feed in to my giggle.
The last time I said that, I felt different. As soon as the last word left my mouth, I had there was an ache in pit of my stomach. The thought that ran through my head simultaneously was, "I am sick of saying that."
2. I watched this Upworthy video: My Last Days: Meet Zach Sobiech about a teenager with terminal cancer who teaches everyone around him (and who watches the video) that you really can love someone and life itself to death.
After watching the video, and mostly through the entire video, my heart was aching as I asked myself over and over, "What would I do? What would I do with the last days of my life?"
There are things that I do each day that I do not take for granted. Well, mostly there is one thing I do each day: love all over my boys. Sometimes I wonder if I tell them too much. There are things I could do everyday that I do take for granted: love everyone else in my family and tell them more often. (and other things but this isn't a post about that.)
This leads me back to seeing my big picture. I sat for several hours writing lists of WHAT I KNOW and WHAT I'M GOOD AT and potential business/company names. I did that in hopes to define 'what I want to do when I grow up." You see, time does not stop and wait for you to figure it out. I have this sense of DO IT NOW. I have come across two inspiration quotes about life repeatedly over the last month: "Done Is Better Than Perfect." and "You must do the thing you think you cannot do." -Elenor Roosevelt
Asking myself, "at the end of it all, what would I want my boys to say I did with my life … even if it wasn't perfect … the thing I tell myself I cannot do?" I would want them to say:
She told others' stories because she believed that when we hear others' stories we are inspired, we discover something about ourselves, we grow as people and we live, simply live.
UPDATE: I am launching a new online media business in February 2014. What will you be when you grow up? DO IT NOW.